What Would It Take...

[Firebird98]

to be a suicide bomber?

72 virgins? Wow. Maybe the bomber actually went to hell and still got 72 virgins. He just never noticed. I can't imagine eternity like this:

"IS SHE PRETTIER THAN ME?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?!?!"

"HOW COME YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME?!"

"I HAVE A HEADACHE!"

72 times over. All day, everyday, eternity. I don't think so, Allahyouguyscankissmyass.

So let's up the ante. What would it take for you to strap the bomb on your chest and go hug some innocent orphans or stroll into a hotel??? What spoils would you want in heaven, or what conditions would you require on Earth?

For ME...

- Unlimited credit at heaven/hell's bar. Top shelf all the way.

- My target site would have to be a hippie commune

- Boots made from retarded kids

- I want my name to be magically entered into the Koran. "And god did maketh Jaye and the splendor of the vine loved him dearly, as did some hairy bitch he won't admit to"

- In heaven I will be greeted by John Bonham, Dimebag Darrell, and Todd Bridges from Different Strokes. I know that coke head Todd is still alive, but his career is dead enough for the spectral realm to register him.

- A rotating buffet of the sleaziest, filthiest women ever to walk Earth. I want these broads taken right out of hell and placed in my hedonistic smorgasbord of debautchery.

- Michael Moore as my personal slave and occasional rape victim.

- A hot Tub filled with Young's Double Chocolate Stout and a young, Thai girl skilled in the arts of eroticism and cleaning

[5Cats]

He's been in the army a bit toooo long I think...

Being assured a free pass into heaven ought to be enought, eh? Makes you really wonder why they need to "sweeten" the deal with promises of virgins & whatnot. Where did they come up with a number like 72? Is that in the Koran?

I think you gotta be rather stupid to fall for that "you'll be rewarded in heaven" crapola.

Jaye, if you're in heaven, you'll get ambrosia, the perfect drink, which will make you happy, satisfy your thirst & etc. Hummm, after some of that stuff, would drinking beer still seem like fun? Of course! If it's Heaven brand Beer [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Firebird98]

i can see this went over REAL well

[5Cats]

I'd blame the low voter turn out.
ie there's hardly anybody around these days.

[ski1138]

Wow, that's a good question, I mean what does one base a response on, physical prowess, the ability to banter well with super villains.....

[Miral]

I would do it if I was told I could rape Jaye with a strap on... *thinks*